Anywho, the 2009 Van’s Warped Tour Houston date was not too long ago and as I have for the past several years I attended in good faith. The festival has undoubtedly gone downhill in recent years, but since it’s a large music festival there usually is something for everyone and the whole experience is great for making interesting images.

We arrived at the venue, Sam Houston Race Park, around 11 and were welcomed by the usual Houston Summer heat. I remember ranting about the location last year and how uncentralized it was (Houston leads the nation in largest city by sheer land size and sprawl), but the real kicker to this locale is the terrain is basically a huge asphalt parking lot (a really old one with a lot of pot holes and sand everywhere) with zero shade.

I’ve been to music festivals, even Warped Tours all over the country and many are in locations that provide indoor and outdoor stages or at least something more than the largest and crappiest stretch of asphalt in (North) Houston. I know I’m asking a lot since choosing a venue for a tour as large as the Warped Tour has a lot to do with suits and money, but seriously, I can’t see it helping the cause.

As the day wore on, we saw the asphalt fill with exhausted kids and empty of the excited, jubilant kids that we saw in the early hours. Many were exhausted from mosh pits and singing along, but make no mistake, 98 degrees with 100% humidity with no shade will exhaust everyone, not just the front row.

I will leave that subject for now and get to the good stuff. The music.

As always we made a b-line to the schedule board to make a list of what we wanted to see. I remember noting that the bands seemed lame this year when I researched the show online, but as we looked over our tentative “want to see” schedule, things started to look especially bleak.

We had some time so we walked around a bit and saw the end of Saosin’s set. This is where I talk (again) about how much the current vocalist sucks and isn’t Anthony Green, but you already know that. Same ole, same ole.

We took a stroll over the one of the stages to prepare for Jefree Star and enjoyed the sounds of Big D and The Kids Table finishing up their set on a nearby stage. Big D has been around forever and although I never was totally into Ska, I always enjoy it live. On another note, It’s my opinion that Ska is only good during the day. Is that weird?

Jefree Star. I have seen random things about you via myspace, via promotional email blasts, via lots of things. Id be lying if I said I knew you were a boy before this show. I guess from what I have gathered in my periphery I always thought you were just another off the wall, eccentric female music artist (since it’s trendy to be an eccentric female music artist) but I had no idea. It wasn’t that I had seen your videos and photos and was so naïve to think you were female; I just didn’t really pay any attention. I wish I had.

Jefree was accompanied on stage by two friends, a guy with daisy dukes sized for a pre-teen and a silver sequined tank top and another girl with an equally ridiculous out fit. They burst on-stage and did a quick cover of the new Black Eyed Peas’ single, “Boom Boom Pow”, in their own style of course.

The rest of the set was filled with several (bad) tunes and choreography (if you want to even call it that) that was even worse. It is what it is, but what it is, is hilarious. She (he) definitely isn’t Madonna, but I was thoroughly entertained. Even if I was deaf, the tattoos on-stage were enough to keep me enthralled. Even bad artists are amazing if only on the virtue of hilarity alone.

After Jefree Star’s performance we walked around a bit, but again the heat and sand that blew about throughout the day made it more than miserable. We stumbled on one of the smaller stages in time to catch a few songs by local Houston band, Floorbound. I was digging their sound in passing, but again Id be lying if I said the vintage Astros tee that their vocalist was wearing didn’t sway me over. If that was a conscious wardrobe choice then bravo for wearing something local to attract passersby (although there weren’t many watching the band). Good to see some local guys getting a shot at some exposure, but I must confess, when I came home and listened to their stuff online, it was not as grand as it was live.

Next up was Bayside. These guys are always pretty consistent and always alive on stage. It was a good set, but there were zero songs played off their initial album, Sirens and Condolences, which was depressing. I know labels, and managers, and contracts dictate a lot of what is played live, but come on, you can give us the usual one or two songs.

After Bayside we headed over to see Stef aka P.O.S. perform on a smaller stage. I was excited, as Stef has been doing big things this year following his newest release Never Better on Doomtree Records. His fresh attack on the indie hip hop scene has been exciting ever since I first met and saw him live a few years ago. I saw the whole Doomtree crew perform a few months back during SXSW but this was the first time seeing him in the Warped Tour environment and I must say he did not fail to impress once again.

In the midday heat, Stef spent about 3 minutes total on stage, the rest of the set he spent in the crowd. Armed with a mic in one hand and a road case in the other, Stef jumped over the barricade and rocked a crowd, which may or may not have been ready for rap music in a sea of drab punk and screamo. I take my hat off to Stef for giving it his all despite our Houston heat. All of the stages were shaded and all of them provided drinks, but Stef took it to the crowd and really gave them a show they would remember. It is artists like that, artists that showcase their music to differing crowds and let their passion manifest itself through live performances that will continue to break through and (hopefully) gain notoriety. Well done, Stef.

After P.O.S. we had a bit of a gap before anything else that seemed interesting, but after a bit of walking and browsing we decided to cut our losses and head home. The heat was unbearable and seeing tons of kids, crowd into minuscule shaded areas close to fainting of heat exhaustion was pitiful. We would have liked to stick around to catch The Ataris and Bad Religion, but we had had enough for the day. Until next year, Warped Tour.